The Ideal Islamic Marriage

ideal-muslim-marriageIt is the unadulterated system of Allah that, whenever He prohibits a thing, He closes all the avenues that lead to it. The same holds true in all that He has allowed for us. He makes clear all the paths that make it easy.

Undoubtedly, man and woman were created by Allah to worship Him and in doing so, they need  fulfill His promise of making humans inheritors of the earth, generations after generations.

The process of procreation was legitimized for us by Allah through the institution of Nikah (marriage). Allah says: “Marry women of your choice, two or three, or four, but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then (marry) only one” Surah 4. An-Nisa’ verse 3.

I’m particularly concerned with the nature of how wedding ceremonies are being conducted today by the Muslims. I personally see this as the point of departure between those strangers  that strive to conduct themselves in accordance with the shariah during wedding periods desperate for Allah’s blessings, and those that are ignorantly living under the shackles of the destructive 21st century civilization desperate for social recognition at the detriment of Allah’s pleasure.

People rich in civilization as the Muslims shouldn’t be found wanting in ethics and morals. In recent years, Satan has beautified a repugnant act for Muslims who are on the verge of getting married or even the married ones in their wedding anniversaries. An exposure to the new satanic trend in the form of a series of pictures taken by the would-be partners in an un Islamic style will shift any man with a sane and balanced understanding from a comfort zone to that of a constant anticipation of Allah’s wrath.

Innocent people out of ‘marital euphoria’ would do anything just to please the society even if it means going against Allah’s orders.. A true Muslim goes to any length to protect the honor of his women folk but sadly today, we even derive pleasure in displaying our women for the world to admire. Subhanallah!

An authentic hadith on the strength of Ammar (RA) sends a shiver down my spine. The Prophet (p) said: “A dayyuth will NEVER enter paradise” (Muslim). this is a person who’s not jealous of his women folk. He opposes jealousy and displays his wife for every Tom! Dick and Harry to see and comment as if she’s a commodity. How can my wife’s picture be traveling round the world admired by the good, the bad and the ugly. Insanity I guess.

The competition of a real believer is in good ways not in disobedience. We are trying to outdo one another in sins. Wedding dinner, what’s supposed to be a decent feast and a get-together is now the backbone of everything opposing Allah’s orders as far as wedding ceremony is concerned. Women in tight outfits, exactly as the Prophet(saw) painted their image, mixing freely with strange men with an accompanied music playing at the background inviting the wrath of Allah and we have the guts to expect Allah’s blessings in our marriages. What a deliberate contradiction.

Can’t we have a decent marriage? Can’t we think of Allah’s wrath when planning our wedding events? Are we so blinded and desperate for a 24 hour recognition that we are willing to compromise on our eeman? Who blesses marriages? Is it not Allah? Or do the people we consider when we disobey Allah have the key to our marital bliss and righteous off-springs , Think and ponder, If the foundation of our wedding is built on Allah’s disobedience then don’t blame Allah or the society when our children become delinquents but rather we should blame ourselves for that wedding based on Allah’s disobedience.

Don’t we know that for every person that abuses his sight at a dinner function organized by us, is an equal share of sin allotted to us, wise up and use your intellect. Don’t ruin the life of your children yet un born. The people we threw up a lavish immoral dinner to impress will be the first to broadcast our marital problems when Allah removes blessings in our marriages. So decide who to please now.

There’s nothing wrong in men having their exclusive male event in accordance with the shariah (a wedding banquet known as walimah) nor is there anything wrong for women to have their own separate wedding banquet. Hence, we should go for that which pleases Allah and which guarantees eternal bliss and a happy home.

Until and unless we see marriage as an Ibadah, we will not get the gist. In a hadith the Prophet (p) said: “The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.” Only a pious woman will discourage you from trying to indulge in a wedding ceremony that will invite Allah’s wrath, so go for her and not the so called 21st century slave who knows nothing beyond the material world, totally oblivious of her creator.

Sisters, go for men that will honor your modesty and integrity. You talk of women’s right, go for men that will never expose you to the wild provocation of the sick world. Our marriages are no novelty, wedding ceremonies come and go but the records of everything that ensued is kept with Allah either as a plus factor or a minus factor for us on the Day of Retribution.

May  Allah give us partners that will hold us and drag us with utmost care to Jannah, and not those that know nothing beyond the material world.

A sister’s struggle…

 Woman at Supplication.   A sister wrote : Years back when I used to listen to music, there eventually came a time that I started to feel thoughts like this is Haraam and would feel guilty every time I blasted the tracks.

So I thought to myself, let me add Qur’an in my Mp3 player (and I didn’t eliminate the music).

But what happened was that as long as both the Qur’an and the music was there I would flip between the two.

So I said to myself: I have to remove music completely, because as long as I allow for the the impermissible thing to thrive, then I may succumb and listen. So I deleted all music and removed every CD of it that I had.

Then I repented to Allah I will never listen to music again, and prayed at Tahajjud regularly that O Allah only you can prevent me from sins, so save me from every minor and major sin.

This method I have applied to many other areas in my life that I feel weak in. I just make Du’aa’ to my Allah and then remove it completely, for as long as it remains, I remain vulnerable.

InshaaAllaah I hope that this benefits everyone else struggling with their own struggle.